THERE ARE TOO MANY COINCIDENCES TO YOUR MEETING JEROME

for SR

I wanted to lose my virginity. His motorcycle
would not start. He was a boy who lived

in the same village as I. He gave me a job
as his secretary. The elevator broke.

I can remember those numbers 3 and 5.
The fibowhatty sequence? The photos I found

in the grass verge were torn. I did a jigsaw.
It was Jerome and his wife. I started his motorcycle.

All of this is too made up to be true,
but it happened. What are you going to believe?

Years passed. That much can't be ignored.
He was a terrible fuck. Lies don't make it worse.

SEX SCENE

At first I tried simulating wanking with my cock
balled up in my hand like it was still soft
and I was working it hard. My hand was sweaty
from the heat of the lights and the flaccid muscle
squirmed in the grease. I thought of slugs.
It helped me avoid an embarrassing erection.
The director was asking me to stare
straight up her skirt and, although she wore
knickers, they had ridden to the left, exposing
her dark shaved labia. I still don't know
to this day if she had arranged it or if
it was chance let me glimpse. I kept on hiding
it in my palm for three more takes. She was nervous.
I found my eyes drifting from her cunt
to the corners of her mouth. The fascinating tremble
of her lips. What was she expecting?
I was twice her age. A lumbering legend
massaging my modesty. Ingenue. She was sliced
and garnished, served on a mattress. I let go.
Thought, what is a 43 year old man doing
being bashful? If I was taking her girlhood
I wouldn't be shy. I fell on her squeals
with my hands and thighs, pressing her open
like in real life. I'm no tit man. My method
is to lick and kiss their throats. I won't lie,
I came close to fucking her for real twice,
but in the end you're just humping the air,
dissatisfied and sweaty. After the cut,
we were awkward. I brushed some straw
from my ass and hauled my trousers up.
I offered my hand and she took it.
Hers were small like a child's, engulfed as I pulled.
Later we'd be  filming a breakfast
scene in the cottage. Bacon and sausages.
She was straightening her skirt and blouse
as I walked off set to my trailer.

SHORT ENCOUNTERS

for JA

Well mummy, tomorrow's my birthday

and I want to go to the circus

and tomorrow is not Margaret's birthday

and she wants to go to the pantomime.

My birthday's in June

and there aren't any pantomimes in June.

View the fun here

AUTOBIOGRAPHY

A female girlie club entertainer in Weimar Berlin

A newly engaged couple have a breakdown

Four fascist libertines round up 9 teenage boys and girls

A homosexual man is forced to hide his sexuality

An ambitious Asian Briton and his white lover

Two best friends living on the streets of Portland as hustlers

He hires a homophobic small time lawyer

Eddy and Stuart share two-thirds of a dormitory suite

A genius 16-year-old 19th century poet

His neighbour is beaten by his father and comes to stay

He tries to deny he's gay and gets a yellow label

Brendan Behan is befriended as a teenager

A 15 year old Long Island boy loses everything

A teenage hustler and young man obsessed with alien abductions

The owner of a beauty clinic and a transsexual

A group of New Yorkers caught up in their sexual milieu

The story of Harvey Milk

His typical days in 1960s Los Angeles

His most famous poem is illustrated in animation

Russell heads out to a gay club

SEQUEL

for GJ

It has to be better in every way.
Massive, with more
explosions. Your masterpiece.

However, if that applies any pressure,
u can relax.
The third 1s expected to be shit.

JAMES DRAPER EUROPEAN CINEMA CLUB

for JD

None of the boys in these movies 
are under eighteen in compliance
with European law, and none
of the boys in these movies are over
nineteen, and no-one speaks English,
only Icelandic or Dutch. Everyone
takes all of their clothes off almost
all of the time in these movies, and
nobody gets shy round the thermals
and geysers on those volcanic shores.
Sometimes two of the boys go off
on their own for a talk-scene indoors,
say a beach house or sauna, either
they are clothed, or unclothed, or
unclothing each other as they talk.
None of the boys in these movies
has a bad word to say about the boys
in these movies, and none of the boys
says anything dumb or clever in these
movies, and everyone is always cut
and clean shaven, and no-one is fat,
and no-one is ugly. All of the boys
in these movies do it for pleasure,
nobody gets paid more than the other,
and none have a beautiful wife
back home, or a child to provide for.
Everyone is single and happy and alone.

HOTEL 2

for GJ

Night is a tumbler of whiskey.

This is a sequel. The actors

are acting the lines read before.

Somewhere a man laughs a laugh

laughed before. The audience remember

his laugh. They laugh. Nobody worries

if the plot is rehashed, if the same

sets are used. This is a sequel.

Exactly the same, but the gore

is exploded. Whispers down tree-lined

lanes of the murders. Everything

suspected of truth becomes true.

In The Church of St. Bernadette

of The Cross a woman trims candles.

The altar cloth shows Joan of Arc.

Evensong starts. The choir sings incense,

footsteps echoing in the aisle and apse.

A laugh. The stained glass explodes. Static.