MR. FARAGE APPLIES THE GREASE

probably you might say that
it was possibly racist perhaps
you may infer homophobia in any 

major party there are rotten 
apples threatening
to spoil the upset cart but look

no-one holds a clean slate
and the donations were received 
in good faith by the treasurer potentially

you could dig up dirt but the fact
remains that possibly probably
you could infer or say that maybe

ERIC HOLT BY PHILIP-LORCA DICORCIA

Eric Holt, 19 years old
SANTA FE, NEW MEXICO, $25

I'd call Eric on Fridays, some time
after midnight when the news
and a bottle of Jack grew stale
bedfellows.

I first picked him out on the Boulevard.
Drove him the cool night road
out of town in the convertible
with the roof down.

I think of Eric. The smell of his hair.
The way he sipped his water. His cock.
I feel shame, but never stopped
him coming.

THE EXERCISE POEM

For IC

Imagine a place from your childhood;
write down three things you can see,
three things you can smell,
three things you can hear.

Imagine a pair of hands;
what are they touching?
Write down three things they taste of.

Imagine you are an object from your mother's childhood.
Imagine you are a suitcase.
Write down three things you feel right now.
Write down three things you will feel later.

Go back and delete any word that rhymes.
Go back and delete any word containing an f.

Now interview everything you've just written.
Render the responses phonetically.
Do not stop writing until I say

MICHAEL GOMEZ BY PHILIP-LORCA DICORCIA

Michael Gomez, 34 years old
CHICAGO ILLINOIS, £30

Hello Michael, it's me. Is that you?

Could you come over tonight,

I'm feeling pretty scared?

No, don't turn on the light.

Don't turn on the light.

Turn it off.

What is it you're smoking these days?

Would you like to bum

one of mine? Don't turn on the light.

A bust heater stuck on high.

White cotton. Sweat in his elbows.

Please Michael, don't turn on the light.

A CALIFORNIAN TRIANGLE

The Buick of my enemy has screamed
off the Coast Road in California
and mangled on the cliff rock
where it fell. I have pulled over
by the beach to stare at the steaming
wreckage with glee.

The body of my enemy has been pulped
by the steering wheel and gear-shift,
the shattered windshield,
crumpled dash.
His eyeball, dangling on an optic nerve,
makes me want to puke, but I don't turn away.

The screenplay of my enemy has blown
along the coast. Pages float
In the sea mash where it hits the sand
and pages flap in the air.
Vultures are coming from the canyon.
They have come to pick the bones.

IN ANOTHER TIME

The old King agreed to entertain
The Empress. He stroked
his short beard
and worried the country
would come to grief

as if shook from a dream.
The old King slept.

Someone off stage shouted, 
"Get on with it!"
and a floorboard creaked.

She bowed. The Empress said,
"I have come for your Kingdom,
your jewels, your pearls
and your people.
I wish to break chains and unions."

The old King gave some crumbling pages
his signature. A castle wall collapsed.

"Take what you can," he sighed,
"but spare my feelings.
We who came before made the world
you want to make afresh.
We fought the same way.
Do not tread the battleground again."

The Empress conceded with a curtsy
and crossed fingers.
She knew better than this old sod.
Off with his head!

Somewhere in a foreign field,
a corpse
in bloodied armour grinned.

LONDON ROAD BY JACQUES ROUBAUD

London Road
across from The White Lion
a public lavatory
closed
when the station closed

By the entrance to the subway
to Heeley station
also closed

LOVE POEM BY BILL MANHIRE

If you asked me
to choose, I'd hesitate
some.

Love. Not there.
Unseen.
Being near

when your limbs bend
and soften
like sand under seawater.

I'll talk the ocean bed
to you. A tentacle that grips.
The abyss.

WHY I DON'T READ FICTION

for DB

I dated brick and mortar.
We drank Moet
as it frothed off the blast of a bursting star
in space.

At home,
he always itched to fix the pots,
but the dishwater churned with piranhas.

An eyeball grew in his brain. Sally waited. 

DRESS LIKE A DUCHESS

Dress like a Duchess in Tory Burch.

Tory Burch is a key designer 

for elite ladies who lunch 

on the Upper East Side.

George is a very cute baby.

Our obsession with his mother's style

is too strong to ignore.

And the good news is this 'Paulina' dress

is available to buy

at Net-A-Porter. Just click to add it

to the Kate themed section of your closet.