RICE NOODLES :P

for PM and VM

rice noodles
lice poodles
dice roodles
mice doodles
nice toodles
twice strudels
vice scruples
spice boobles

HOW THEY MADE THE BETTER WORLD

for AH, RB, CF, JW, NF, TH

Anna plucked the sunshine from the dusk
Rachel raised the catflap to let the mice out
Cheryl fashioned time from the silvered workings of a watch
Jenny printed money on torn copies of The Advertiser
Nuala distilled love from a column of lonely-hearts
Tracy drew speech from stones

Tracy drew speech from stones
Anna plucked the sunshine from the dusk
Nuala distilled love from a column of lonely-hearts
Rachel raised the catflap to let the mice out
Cheryl fashioned time from the silvered workings of a watch
Jenny printed money on torn copies of The Advertiser

SLEEPING WITH THE DINOSAUR

for BC, MF, AC, JMG, SG, SM, SD, BM, CF, GF, GT, MG, SB, JR, NF, AN, SJ, BW, AG, LCB

We haven't woken up. The dinosaur's still here.
Ireland, Greece, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Cyprus, who's next?
I wouldn't really blame U2 entirely, but still...
We both work and struggle; are we wrong?
Ireland, Greece, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Cyprus, who's next?
Lucky to be working, but still struggling on.
We both work and struggle; are we wrong?
Money's too tight to mention, just an illusion.

Lucky to be working, but still struggling on.
We are lambs slaughtered for the bankers' sins.
Money's too tight to mention, just an illusion.
We've been fucked over by some elite psychopaths.
We are lambs slaughtered for the bankers' sins.
This is why I get no pay rise.
We've been fucked over by some elite psychopaths.
Bankers sank us and now we pay shit.

This is why I get no pay rise.
Break off your landlord's nose and sell it.
Bankers sank us and now we pay shit.
Counting every penny because every penny counts now.
Break off your landlord's nose and sell it.
Turn down the downturn. Frivolity. Spend. Spend. Spend
Counting every penny because every penny counts now.
Infinite growth on a finite planet is insane.

Turn down the downturn. Frivolity. Spend. Spend. Spend.
Pay frozen for 4 years! Where's my bonus?
Infinite growth on a finite planet is insane.
Economic plummet has Great Britain on her knees!
Pay frozen for 4 years! Where's my bonus?
Many paying for the greed of a few.
Economic plummet has Great Britain on her knees!
Banks, unregulated, made hay at expense of poor.

Many paying for the greed of a few.
My dead cat would make a better Chancellor.
Banks, unregulated, made hay at expense of poor.
Stealing from the poor, 'banking' up the rich.
My dead cat would make a better Chancellor.
I wouldn't really blame U2 entirely, but still...
Stealing from the poor, 'banking' up the rich.
We haven't woken up. The dinosaur's still here.

IN THE FRENCH

for AA

horse/hair
slippers/sausage
Cinderella/ashtray

47 SPOKE WAGON WHEEL

for JMG

hub spoke spoke spoke spoke spoke spoke
spoke spoke spoke spoke spoke spoke spoke
spoke spoke spoke spoke spoke spoke spoke
spoke spoke spoke spoke spoke spoke spoke
spoke spoke spoke spoke spoke spoke spoke
spoke spoke spoke spoke spoke spoke spoke
spoke spoke spoke spoke spoke spoke rim

THE DAFFODILS

for MHS

the daffs are dancing in the gale
daffs are dancing in the gale the
are dancing in the gale the daffs
dancing in the gale the daffs are
in the gale the daffs are dancing
the gale the daffs are dancing in
gale the daffs are dancing in the

ANDREW JACKSON'S CHICKEN GLASSES

for AG

Eye glasses for chickens: intended to prevent fowls
from picking out each other's eyes – Andrew Jackson's
chicken glasses. It might be supposed from glances
that chickens, like human beings, suffer eye diseases.

These eye glasses were first patented in 1903:
intended to prevent fowls from pecking out eyes.
A flock so equipped would appear very intellectual.
Go forth and multiply, young fellow me lad.

15TH APRIL 2013

for AG, MF, SH, JW

Spare a bob guv
Five years ago, precisely
You have got AIDS
Rose is a slut

Spare a bob guv
Rose is a slut
You have got AIDS
Five years ago, precisely

Spare a bob guv
You have got AIDS
Five years ago, precisely
Rose is a slut

Five years ago, precisely
You have got AIDS
Rose is a slut
Spare a bob guv

10TH APRIL 2013

for CF, MH-S, SB, AG, MF, LCB

She became, rather rapidly, a flesh eating zombie
Playing marbles, climbing trees, catching frogs, scabby knees
She became, rather rapidly, a flesh eating zombie
Natterjack freezeframe stick it up your Ursula Andress

The Peoples Republic of South Yorkshire rules ok
Natterjack freezeframe stick it up your Ursula Andress
She became, rather rapidly, a flesh eating zombie
They thought the pony looked very corned beefy

I have thrown my tea on the floor
She became, rather rapidly, a flesh eating zombie
The Peoples Republic of South Yorkshire rules ok
Playing marbles, climbing trees, catching frogs, scabby knees

They thought the pony looked very corned beefy
They thought the pony looked very corned beefy
The Peoples Republic of South Yorkshire rules ok
She became, rather rapidly, a flesh eating zombie

Playing marbles, climbing trees, catching frogs, scabby knees
Playing marbles, climbing trees, catching frogs, scabby knees
I have thrown my tea on the floor
She became, rather rapidly, a flesh eating zombie

They thought the pony looked very corned beefy
Natterjack freezeframe stick it up your Ursula Andress
Natterjack freezeframe stick it up your Ursula Andress
The Peoples Republic of South Yorkshire rules ok

SEQUEL

for GJ

It has to be better in every way.
Massive, with more
explosions. Your masterpiece.

However, if that applies any pressure,
u can relax.
The third 1s expected to be shit.

SPRING WOULD BE GOOD

for JMG

I would like to stop coughing now
and for Spring to arrive. Spring
would be good. A cough free Spring.
Imagine never coughing. Never
blowing a dandelion clock clean
or never going to the beach.

I think it will rain some more
then it might snow. Then hail.
This is Spring coming on like a roll
of thunder. The sand raked with waves.
All that winter is in your West
and you are waking up like a Limpet.

SIAMESE

for AA

two tails
heads rolled from a neck
turned fur into six
eight four legs
heads two three eyes
blended two four
bellies and backs
reticulating arched single
spine splits a helix
under pelt
fur fur entwined

INVADING CAT

for NT

is sitting on the wall outside the kitchen window
then makes a leap across the path and hits said window,
sinks like a stone and looks astonished.

Sheer indignation before turning around and walking away
with as much dignity as he could muster.

JANUARY MYSTERY

for the Boyles

Most of my socks and underwear,
a large hoodie and a pair of pyjama bottoms (both mine),
4 muslin squares (Samuel's)
and a large stuffed rat from IKEA (Ellis'),
a penknife of Mark's and a wooden spoon.

PHOTOS OF MOLLY ROSE JONES

for SJ

My boss posts photos
of Molly Rose Jones
in a rocker or on a mat

My boss posts photos
of Molly Rose Jones
in a striped onesy and hat

In a rocker or on a mat
Molly Rose Jones
in a striped onesy and hat
Molly Rose Jones

My boss posts photos
of Molly Rose Jones
She smiles she is amazed

My boss posts photos
of Molly Rose Jones
surprised eyebrows raised

She smiles she is amazed
Molly Rose Jones
surprised eyebrows raised
Molly Rose Jones

My boss posts photos
of Molly Rose Jones
in his hands in his lap

My boss posts photos
of Molly Rose Jones
see her laugh and clap

In his hands in his lap
Molly Rose Jones
see her laugh and clap
Molly Rose Jones

See her laugh and clap
in his hands in his lap
Molly Rose Jones
Molly Rose Jones