WORK FOR THE OLD BILL: AN ELEGY

for RB

I was pleased to see DCI Jack Meadows
find regular work on The Street,

Glad the Dales had provided a home
for PC Leon Taylor and Sgt June Ackland.

DS Phil Hunter has gone undercover
in London's East End,

But I would not go to Waterloo Road
to find the newly promoted Dale Smith,

And what of the missing and unemployed?
Where DC Mickey Webb? Where WPC Polly Page?

CID? How do you spell that then?
Reg Hollis nearly killed himself.


Written with recourse to my new favourite wiki: The Bill Wiki

Sound recording here: Soundcloud

INVADING CAT

for NT

is sitting on the wall outside the kitchen window
then makes a leap across the path and hits said window,
sinks like a stone and looks astonished.

Sheer indignation before turning around and walking away
with as much dignity as he could muster.

JANUARY MYSTERY

for the Boyles

Most of my socks and underwear,
a large hoodie and a pair of pyjama bottoms (both mine),
4 muslin squares (Samuel's)
and a large stuffed rat from IKEA (Ellis'),
a penknife of Mark's and a wooden spoon.

ROAD

A wide straight dirt road that stretched

in each direction. A pillar of haze

in the distance and cuffs of dust

that burst underfoot. By nightfall the road

had narrowed to two lanes of cobble

reflecting streaks of full moon in a tumble

of willow branch. The stone grazed the skin

on my soles. By dawn, my toes had sliced open

to the bone and the road had thinned

to a gilded sliver of wooden walkways

that climbed up from the river basin

and into the canopy. I found firm ground again

when the pine board gave out to water

polished concrete at the summit.

From here on the steps fell through grassland

that flattened out into savannah and broadened

into a dirt road that was wide and straight.

ODE TO THE ANTIQUE WASHSTAND IN THE GUEST BEDROOM

for AA

A Playstation One,
golf balls, Nokia 6210,
two condoms, a sewing kit,
the seventh Harry Potter novel,
two credit cards, an ethernet cable,
about £2.50 in sterling and Euros,
travel Jenga, From Russia With Love on DVD
and twenty million safety pins.

TRANSCIENCE FICTIONORMATIONS

for AA

Aminotranscience fictionerases catalysed an unexpected
moment of miscience fictionielding on the crease
in the Nottinghamshire town of Manscience fictionield.

Jarscience fictionul of cider consumed before playing
were blamed for the dyscience fictionunctional wicketkeeper's
sudden lurch left at a right swinging miscience fictionire.

The townscience fictionolk were flabbergasted the bowler's
miscience fictionortunate slip of the finger had spilled
satiscience fictionyingly long for a bye for the batters.

Later the club patrescience fictionamilias were fretful
as doctors at Nottingham General transcience fictionused,
triggering biotranscience fictionormations in the suffering flesh.

A LETTER FROM THE BBC

I got a letter from the BBC
to vanish a million pounds
in an unmarked manila envelope
that smelled of tobacco.

To vanish a million pounds
you need the Piff Paff Puff
that smelled of tobacco
blown in a cloud of Phoenix dust.

You need the Piff Paff Puff
and the breath of dragons
blown in a cloud of Phoenix dust
to distract the public gaze.

And the breath of dragons
engulfed Wood Lane in fire
to distract the public gaze
from the horse drawn hearse.

Engulfed Wood Lane in fire,
splinters of ash kicked off hooves
from the horse drawn hearse
that crackled into the night.

Splinters of ash kicked off hooves
fly and fade like burnt memos
that crackled into the night
becoming darkness and silence.

Fly and fade like burnt memos
in an umarked manilla envelope
becoming darkness and silence,
I got a letter from the BBC.