THE REVOLUTION WILL BE ADVERTISED

For MF

The Gulf War will not take place
The Gulf War is not really taking place
The Gulf War did not take place

This tastes like the real thing,
says our man in the cotton shirt
from a desert jeep near Tripoli
on the trail of the Arab Spring.

The freedom frighters have skewered Gaddafi
and Union Brand bombs made it possible!
Scotland votes No!

In other news the central highway
is closed in Hong Kong.
Commuters are advised to make alternative
travel arrangements to avoid
the sit-ins protesting our glorious executive.

We want more democracy,
says the Sprite drinking man.
We want freedom to make more money
and buy luxury foreign goods,
to be the captains of our own industry.

Even the President wears
V for Vendetta.

In Tripoli things have taken turns
from Baghdad to worse.
Militant ISILamists have damaged
the corporate image.
IEDeas tremor under the asphalt.
Scorpions scramble.

DO NOT ADUST YOUR SET!
This is reality breaking through.

After the following messages and beheadings
blanket coverage will resume.

DRESS LIKE A DUCHESS

Dress like a Duchess in Tory Burch.

Tory Burch is a key designer 

for elite ladies who lunch 

on the Upper East Side.

George is a very cute baby.

Our obsession with his mother's style

is too strong to ignore.

And the good news is this 'Paulina' dress

is available to buy

at Net-A-Porter. Just click to add it

to the Kate themed section of your closet.

WAS

Margaret Thatcher was one of the defining figures in British politics

She was the last real Conservative with a spine

She was arguably the most important and transformational figure in the Western world

Lady Thatcher was a towering figure in British, and indeed, world politics

She was rushing around shaking hands with everybody, chatting to people

She was a Tory and it was just a politician visiting

She was at the Cutlers

Thatcher was built for confrontation

Margaret Thatcher was built for confrontation

She was an instant wicked Queen

Mrs Thatcher was a powerful politician

She was a wicked woman

She was a world leader and will be missed

Thatcher was a great leader for one simple reason — she lead

She was the first female prime minister

She was also the greatest peacetime prime minister we ever had

She was determined that should not happen

Lady Thatcher was, like Dickens, the property of far more than just her family

Lady Thatcher was seen by many as a kind of modern day Genghis Khan

Margaret Thatcher was one of the greatest political leaders in history

She was not, of course, perfect

Margaret Thatcher was losing her vice–like grip on world affairs

Lady Thatcher was having difficulties with her hearing

She was still functioning

She was on ever stronger medication

She was word perfect

She was admitted to hospital for tests

She was dressed immaculately

She was struggling to speak because she found it difficult to form words

She was the shopkeeper's daughter from Grantham

She was the patriot prime minister

Margaret was such a leader

She was kind and generous spirited

Thatcher was an unmitigated disaster for Britain

She was the one who truly 'broke the mould' of British politics

Mrs Thatcher was one hell of a PM to cover as a journalist

She was a great politician and an exceptional person

She was a great person who did a great deal for the world

She was simply one of the greatest politicians of our time

She was part of the decision making process

Mrs Thatcher was even said to have jokingly sent the Queen a pair of rubber gloves

She was Secretary of State for Education in Ted Heath's cabinet

Margaret Thatcher was upset

Mrs Thatcher was initially a lonely figure over the Falklands

She was well aware that I had been one of her most ardent supporters

She was virtually unembarrassable

Margaret Thatcher was no admirer of the foreign office as an institution

She was an indefatigable traveller

Margaret Thatcher was unique

She was always talking about her principles

She was deeply aware that, while she had escaped, many of her friends had died

She was at first no match for Harold Wilson

She was not always as good a judge of men's characters as of their abilities

Margaret Thatcher was generally thoughtful of those working for her

Margaret Thatcher was decisive

Margaret was attached to legal chambers in Lincoln's Inn

Mrs Thatcher was adopted as the Conservative candidate for Finchley

She was certainly a caring and loving mother

Mrs Thatcher was not complicit in her son's business arrangements

She was the boss

Mrs Thatcher was wading through the carnage wrought by terrorists

She was always Mrs T

She was simply 'PM' to me

Mrs T was due to meet the Gorbachevs in Moscow

Lady T was emphatically anti-trousers

She was dressed and made up immaculately

She was adept with her make-up

She was convulsed with giggles one day

She was inconsolable when Airey Neave and Ian Gow were killed

She was distraught when her son Mark went missing for six days

She was resolute in her determination not to be cowed by the outrage

She was determined to address the party conference

Lady Thatcher was a remarkable lady

She was a great friend

She was always feminine

She was a lady

Thatcher was not entirely alone when she entered Parliament

She was unique in being a mother of six year old twins

She was not only as good as the man standing next to her but better

Margaret Thatcher was elected Prime Minister

Mrs Thatcher was able to proceed with strategy of restructuring the economy

Margaret Thatcher was still five weeks away from being Prime Minister

She was devastated

She was unbowed

She was Britain's greatest peace time Prime Minister

Thatcher was returned to power with a majority of 144

Thatcher was perhaps the most intensely serious person to ever occupy her office

She was incapable of treating politics as a game

She was single-mindedly dedicated to using power to change Britain

She was perceived as handsome rather than alluring

She was asserting it the whole time

She was inexhaustible

She was especially feted by President Ronald Reagan

Margaret Thatcher was beyond argument a great Prime Minister

She was an exhausted volcano

She was one of the most divisive Prime Ministers of modern times

Mrs Thatcher was monstered over an interview

Mrs Thatcher was also criticising the automatic tendency of people to look to the state as a cure for all ills

She was of the firm conviction that society was the sum of its parts

Margaret Thatcher was the other

She was repeatedly obliged to face down prejudice against wisdom

She was even hated by large sections of her own Conservative Party

Thatcher was so widely despised because she spoke out on behalf of the ordinary

She was always the outsider

Margaret was their second child

Margaret was brought up over the shop

She was part of a team that invented a revolutionary method of preserving ice–cream

She was turned down

She was headstrong, obstinate and dangerously opinionated

She was the youngest woman Conservative candidate there had ever been

She was reassured to discover he was a no–nonsense Conservative

She was obliged to miss out on fighting the 1955 election

Margaret Thatcher was no feminist

Margaret Thatcher was already beginning to align herself with the Right–wing

She was promoted to housing spokesman

Mrs Thatcher was not just a reflex Right–winger

She was one of the very few Conservative MPs who supported reforming legislation of homosexuality and abortion

She was to look back on her time at education with mixed feelings

She was labelled 'Mrs Thatcher Milk Snatcher'

She was out of sympathy with the government she served

Margaret Thatcher was never part of Edward Heath's inner cabal

Margaret Thatcher was obliged to confront the second great challenge of her premiership

Mrs Thatcher was all too well aware that union power had destroyed Edward Heath's government

She was not secure politically either

Margaret Thatcher was never ready to follow tamely in the wake of a US President

She was always ready to stand up for British interests

She was badly weakened

She was awarded a life peerage to add to the Order of Merit

Baroness Thatcher was appointed Lady of the Garter

She was a strong supporter of the Royal Chelsea Hospital

Margaret Thatcher was a woman of the most extraordinary courage

She was Britain's greatest ever peacetime Prime Minister

She was the greatest

Margaret Thatcher was surely our greatest peacetime Prime Minister

She was a veritable force of nature

She was responsible for dismantling the consensus

She was a great example of a strong leader

Thatcher was not courting popularity

She was 87

Mrs Thatcher was the first woman to become Prime Minister of Britain

She was honoured as Baroness Thatcher of Kesteven

She was 'la pasionaria of privilege'

She was rarely willing to concede a point

Margaret Hilda Roberts was born on Oct 13 1925 in Grantham, Lincolnshire

She was elected to be a Conservative Party candidate for Parliament

She was admitted to the bar and came to specialise in patent and tax law

She was forced to give way

She was too reticent on cutting taxes

She was wary of insouciance over rising Federal deficits

Mrs Thatcher was also against it

She was the patriot Prime Minister

Lady Thatcher was the only British Prime Minister to leave behind a set of ideas about the state

Mrs Thatcher was a great leader

She was known for her close working alliance with Ronald Reagan

She was equally a hate figure for others

She was one of two great Prime Ministers

Lady Thatcher was one

Mrs thatcher was not a natural orator

She was excoriating in her scorn of Mr Kinnock

She was very much the finished article

Mrs Thatcher was appointed Secretary of State for Education

Mrs Thatcher was very good at extracting generous budget settlements from the Treasury

She was reluctant ever to lose an argument

She was always determined to win arguments

She was losing the main point at issue

She was almost totally impervious to how she offended other people

She was outraged

She was correct

She was an example of the prophet without honour

She was a woman who cared

She was too ill

She was an occasional visitor

She was finding it difficult to move

She was a little more fragile than usual

She was not alert

Baroness Thatcher was Britain's greatest peacetime Prime Minister

She was and is an inspiration

She was a force to be defined against

Margaret Thatcher was such a leader

Lady thatcher was difficult sometimes, not always smooth

Margaret Thatcher was a great politician

She was a groundbreaking politician

She was fundamentally wrong

She was a witch

She was someone's parent or grandparent

She was milk–snatcher, a poll tax–snatcher, a coal–snatcher

She was also regarded as less than a heroine by Unionist representatives

She was great

She was a politician

Baroness Thatcher was determined to preside over an increase in home owners

She was moved to write in her autobiography

She was responsible for many of the reforms now being built upon

Baroness Thatcher was no great believer in local democracy

She was a woman who knew that a leader needed to have strong convictions

Margaret Thatcher was not a politician for women

She was a great politician and exceptional person

Thatcher was someone who only deepened the world's differences

She was very happy to restore freedom to the people of the Falklands

She was a very powerful lady

Lady Thatcher was a divisive figure

She was able to play a positive role in our own process of non-racial constitutional reform

She was a voice of reason during apartheid

She was both a trailblazer and soundboard

She was on the same wavelength as Mr Reagan

Mrs Thatcher was ambivalent about the idea

She was the hard, unfeeling wicked witch of selfishness

She was Britain's first woman Prime Minister

She was a member of the lower middle class

Margaret Thatcher was a conservative who promoted accelerated change

She was for a traditional view of life

She was doing it for the girls

she was still propping herself up on the same gender-stereotypical aphorisms

Lady Thatcher was not bothered

THE WEEK IN PICTURES 13/04/2013

Motaba the gorilla is bananas for bananas but
Lost in a sea of brilliantly coloured flowers
This otherwordly image of a waterfall in California
Unlikely friends Cindy an eight week old kitten
Like others this week Louis Meyer was affected
Gun check hat check high heels check these
A woman and child pass graffiti daubed on
An orphaned polar bear pulls a quizzical look
Russian President Vladimir Putin lies on the snow
Let there be light this dramatic image of
Two years ago a destructive earthquake devastated the
Marooned by Steve Brockett shows villas surrounded by

ROCKETS

In Jerusalem they could see the flashes

of the fireworks they volleyed

at Palestine. They were Roman

Candles, Catherine Wheels and Air Bombs.

I counted four traffic light flares that returned

over the border towards the Knesset;

red — amber — green — amber.

The upturned faces burned in the afterglow.

MAKING CHUCKIES

Murder toys are
in production.
It's top news dolls
are slaughtering
teenage daughters
who sleep around,
top news daughters
who act like sluts
are being snuffed
by dolls dressed up
as kids in clothes
that fit too loose
and large. Children 
dressed in trenchcoats,
duffel coats, macs,
that hang round malls
in pairs or threes
soliciting
for two year olds.

The death count tops
the news. Two ten
year olds who watched
a nasty tape
and played at sticks
and stones will break
your bones and swear
words turn you bad.
Crossbows, semi–
automatic
guns, a Belfast
sink. These monsters
who were raised by
feckless drunks, thick,
are called to hang.
Murder toys are 

in production.