TITS

for JO

They're trying to distract us with pictures

of tits and the Prince is incensed. The press

are obsessed with blurred photos of the Prince

and his wife in states of undress. Honeymooners

in the country of print. If we don't think

of their gold and their choppers we'll be sorry

we never saw her tits. The Queen shifts

in her bodice and girdle and stays. The telly

says William won't let Kate become his mother;

Santa Diana! Santa Diana! Her tits were buried

in mountains of muslin and landmines and Fayeds.

REBEKAH BROOKS SWEARS TO TELL THE TRUTH THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH

I don't recall. Don't remember. Never discussed 
that with the minister. Maybe mentioned. It could 
have been a party or a birthday. The Prime Minister 
never came. Wasn't there. We didn't threaten
any secretary of state. We persuaded. Put the facts. 
I don't recall. I never brought the BskyB bid 
into conversation. Maybe mentioned. Was never 
impolite over crudites. Didn't intrude on foreign affairs.
It may have been my decision. Maybe not. The Murdochs 
never told me. Not my brief. Not my remit. As CEO 
I oversaw two papers, not the corporation. Wasn't there. 
Wasn't me. Didn't text. Rupert who? David who?