for JD
I was just like my grandmother,
phoning for both in case either
would lose. She'd told me she'd rung up
eight times, and each time a flip-flop
decision as who was her Pop
Idol. I plumped for the young pup
who stammered and looked like cute sex,
and voted the once more. My ex
was indifferent and said both my
Nanna and I were insane. Say
what you will about phone votes,
my nan is officially nuts.
She'd gone for Will Young and for Steve
Brookstein on X-Factor. Believe
me, she's crazy but loves choirs
of stutterers as much as queers.
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