THE WINFREY EFFECT

for DS, MR and CH

Lance yer cancer survivor
did what yer did
to win and yer never

ever cared for yer winnings
only yer competitors
and yer charity

and yer went on Oprah
to say yer lied
but nobody believed yer

Yuss'l probably ascend to heaven
like shit off a shovel
at an angle of forty–five degrees

Yuss'l probably have a star
or a space–station
named after yer

Yuss'l probably find yerself
on the Hollywood walk of fame
now that yer famous


Now available in audio here: Click Here for Soundcloud Recording

THEY EAT HORSES, DON'T THEY?

or THE NEIGH-SAYERS
or MR. ED BURGERS
or HORSE SHIT 

for TC, SJ and JM-G

1. 

Horse meat is the culinary name for meat
cut from a horse. It is a major meat

in only a few countries, but it forms
a significant part of the culinary traditions

of others. It is slightly sweet, tender, low in fat
and high in protein. In the late Paleolithic era

wild horses formed an important source of food.
Horse meat was also eaten as part of Germanic

pagan religious ceremonies in northern Europe
particularly associated with the worship of Odin

2.

France dates its taste for horse meat
to the Revolution. Just as hairdressers and tailors

set themselves up to serve commoners, the horses
maintained by aristocracy as a sign of prestige

ended up alleviating the hunger of the lower classes.
It was during the Napoleonic campaigns

when the surgeon-in-chief of Napoleon's grand army,
Dominique-Jean Larrey, served horse as a soup.

In Aspern–Essling, cut from the supply lines,
the cavalry used the horses' breastplates  

as cooking pots and gunpowder as seasoning.
In 1866 the French government legalised horse meat.

3.

It is a taboo in some English speaking countries.
It is a taboo amongst the Romani people and in Brazil.

Horse meat is not generally eaten in Spain (except in the North)
Horse meat is forbidden by Jewish dietary laws.

In the past horse meat has been eaten by Persians, Turks, Hanafi and Tartars,
but it has never been eaten in the Maghreb.

Popes Gregory III and Zachary instructed Saint Boniface
to forbid the eating of horsemeat to those he converted.

Despite the Anglophone taboo, horse meat was eaten in Britain,
especially in Yorkshire, until the 1930's and in times of post-war shortage.

4.

Beef (63%), Onion (10%), 
Wheat Flour, Water, Beef Fat,
Soya Protein Isolate, Salt,
Onion Powder, Yeast, Sugar, Barley Malt Extract,
Garlic Powder, White Pepper Extract,
Celery Extract, Onion Extract. Horse.