A TRAIN POEM

If you do not want anybody
to sit next to
you on the train,
make sure you have worked
your back out
and your T-shirt clings
to your armpits
in dark
bunches. Put your bag
under the seat.
Leave the seat by free
as a threatening gesture.
A man and his daughter with chips.
Change seats.
The daughter does not like the chips.
Now you are
sitting next to the moon
going to Swine Town.
Opposite, the father
is raising safeguarding concerns
and bitching about Nanan.

A BUS POEM

When you do not want anybody
to sit next to you
on the bus. Sit in the aisle
seat. It is important
you do not place your bag
on the empty
window chair. You are not a rude man.
If challenged,
say you have a bad knee
and shift. They must feel
pretty shitty about this. They do not have to know
it was your other leg. Just hurt.
A hot young guy gets on the bus.
This changes things. Shuffle across, smile
and leave a thigh
for him to sit against. If that woman
in the purple fleece
gets high nosed about it. Fuck her.
You had a miracle.
Who is she to argue with it?