THE REVOLUTION WILL BE ADVERTISED

For MF

The Gulf War will not take place
The Gulf War is not really taking place
The Gulf War did not take place

This tastes like the real thing,
says our man in the cotton shirt
from a desert jeep near Tripoli
on the trail of the Arab Spring.

The freedom frighters have skewered Gaddafi
and Union Brand bombs made it possible!
Scotland votes No!

In other news the central highway
is closed in Hong Kong.
Commuters are advised to make alternative
travel arrangements to avoid
the sit-ins protesting our glorious executive.

We want more democracy,
says the Sprite drinking man.
We want freedom to make more money
and buy luxury foreign goods,
to be the captains of our own industry.

Even the President wears
V for Vendetta.

In Tripoli things have taken turns
from Baghdad to worse.
Militant ISILamists have damaged
the corporate image.
IEDeas tremor under the asphalt.
Scorpions scramble.

DO NOT ADUST YOUR SET!
This is reality breaking through.

After the following messages and beheadings
blanket coverage will resume.

DRESS LIKE A DUCHESS

Dress like a Duchess in Tory Burch.

Tory Burch is a key designer 

for elite ladies who lunch 

on the Upper East Side.

George is a very cute baby.

Our obsession with his mother's style

is too strong to ignore.

And the good news is this 'Paulina' dress

is available to buy

at Net-A-Porter. Just click to add it

to the Kate themed section of your closet.

FOUR ADVERTS FROM A SOCIALIST STATE*

with Danny Broderick

*NB This poem is the result of very deliberate discussion into the future of advertising under a socialist system. It represents a pure distillation of theoretical formulations of future production. It is very serious.

Baked Beans. Yes.
Bread. No.
Eggs. Tuesday.
Milk. Yes.